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Pekingese Humor

Sent to me by George Wells. It appeared in Reader's Digest:

Henry's new job had him spending a lot of time on the road, and out of concern for his wife's safety he visited a pet shop to look at watchdogs.

"I have just the dog for you," said the salesman, showing him a miniature Pekingese.

"Come on," Henry protested, "that little thing couldn't hurt a flea.

"Ah, but he knows karate," the salesman replied. "Here, let me show you." He pointed to a cardboard box and ordered, "Karate the box!" Immediately the dog shredded it. The salesman then pointed to an old wooden chair and instructed, "Karate the chair!" The dog reduced the chair to matchsticks. Astounded, Henry bought the dog.

When he got home, Henry announced that he had purchased a watchdog, but his wife took one look at the Pekingese and was unimpressed. "That scrawny thing couldn't fight his way out of a paper bag!" she said.

"But this Pekingese is special," Henry insisted. "He's a karate expert."

"Now I've heard everything," Helen replied. "Karate my foot!"
- contributed by Jim Ellsworth

Two men were out walking their dogs. One of the men spotted a bar as they were walking down the street. "Hey, lets stop in that bar & have a beer!" said the first man. The second man said "They won't let us in with our dogs, it's against the law." "Don't worry," said the first man, "Just follow my lead." The man walked in the bar with his dog & the bartender said "Hey, you can't come in here with a dog!" The first man replied, "I'm blind. This is my seeing-eye dog." "Okay then," said the bartender. The second man then walked in with his dog. The bartender again said, "Hey! You can't come in here with a dog!" The second man said, "I'm blind. This is my seeing-eye dog." The bartender said, "I never seen a pekingese seeing-eye dog before!" The second man said, "What! They gave me a Pekingese?"